In almost all the Countries where transitioning it’s legally allowed and regulated, it’s mandatory to refer to a Psychiatrist, Psychologist or Counsellor.
These professionals have the task to ‘determine’ if a person is suitable for the medical process (therapy and surgery, if needed), performing an assessment that requires a couple of months up to years. While I’m not really a fan of having ‘diagnosed gender dysphoria’, in general, a good talk with this type of professionals it’s a good way to have an external point of view that offers us a deepest perspective on our identity, helping us to re-elaborate the past and in some cases understand it better.
But then what?
As human beings, transgender people have dreams, aspirations, and goals that often have to be set-asides to pursue the bigger ‘dream’ of being our true selves. But this is not a dream (nor ‘confusion’ nor ‘being transgressive’), it’s a necessity.
We start our steps on the way to become who we truly are and it absorbs a huge deal of resources, both physical and psychological. Especially because we live in a fundamentally transphobic society and despite all the big speeches about tolerance and freedom, I dare anyone to deny that.
These sources of stress and anger add up to the struggle of daily life in contemporary society: having a roof on your head, something to eat, finding a job and keeping it, and so on. Unluckily, this emotion’s overload, often pushes us on way above the verge of depression, anxiety and in some cases, self-inflicted violence.
The big ‘transgender cloud’ we have on our eyes, leads us often to perceive our being transgender the unique cause of our stress and unhappiness, leading us to believe that we are the reason for our misery.
“I can’t find a job because I’m transgender”
“I can’t find a partner because I’m transgender”
But that’s not true, or better, it’s true when we reduce our whole identity in being transgender. That makes us fall in a downward spiral of fear and defeat that leads us to become ‘victim’, passively powerless against choices that are beyond our control. It’s true, we can’t control other people’s actions and thoughts, but we can ALWAYS control our reactions to it.
Even when it seems impossible.
We are much more than victims. We are amazing and fully rounded human beings, and it’s time we learn how to live a fulfilling life as such.
We are so focused on how we will be perceived from other people, on the future that our ‘new’ body will bring us, on the miseries and trauma of our past that we are almost unable to live the present moment anymore, except when we look ourself in the mirror. In those situations, our focus is hyper skilled in highlighting everything that is wrong with us. Stress. Stress. Stress.
Holistic coaching helps us to set up goals and achieve it, paying a great deal of attention to our body and spirit as a whole, finding the balance that is vital to manage stress and the consequential issues that it brings. The ultimate purpose of holistic coaching is to provide the tools that will help us to face issues whenever they arise rationally and efficiently, more than surviving and reacting like an animal in an unfriendly and dangerous environment.
Differently, from a Psych, a Coach doesn’t dig in the past but help you to set up a goal and take steps into the future.
Differently, from a Life Coach, a Holistic Coach helps with techniques such as MSBR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Relief), EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) that help to heal the mind letting it grow and transform along with our body and, most importantly, being AWARE.
Holistic Coaching it’s not therapy, but more a powerful tool to help us grow as healthy and self-loving, beautiful human beings. Because we don't deserve anything less.